Pretend You're Just Another Name
by Mileena
Summary: Tenna Angst


Pretend you're just another name  
  
By Mileena  
  
I don't own anything. Jhonen Vasquez owns the character, Lifehouse owns the song just another Name, and Social burn owns the song Pretend. Yay Tenna Angst! I own Ten's brother, and my version of how spooky came about. Yay.  
  
I feel like shit  
  
Did all these clouds around you break your fall?   
  
As you came crashing to the ground  
  
Did you learn anything at all?   
  
You climb back up just to come back down  
  
Everybody knows your name  
  
But they don't know who you are  
  
But to them it's just the same  
  
Yeah you're just another name  
  
She said fame will bring you down  
  
At least that's what she used to say  
  
Before they handed her the crown  
  
She said it would never this way  
  
Yesterday she was just a little girl  
  
Pretending she was queen  
  
She didn't know it would change her world  
  
Didn't know what this would mean  
  
Which mask would you wear today?   
  
How about the one with the pretty smile  
  
To you it's just another day   
  
In a life you haven't lived for quite awhile  
  
Everybody knows your name   
  
But they don't know who you are  
  
You are but to them it's just the same  
  
Yeah you're just another name  
  
To them it's just a game  
  
And think it's gone too far  
  
You've got the most familiar face  
  
But you're just another name.   
  
The toy known as Spooky hits the floor leaving a small squeak and several more as it bounced a couple times. The door slammed shut, and the girl walked into the kitchen, first franticly searching for something to eat, but then giving up and pounding her fists on the kitchen counter. Her elbows support her weight as her hands hide her eyes from the light, and the headache that she had gained on her way home.   
  
She always came down like this.   
  
It wasn't as if she were on a drug, Tenna was deathly afraid of them. She was completely unsure as to how people could willingly inject themselves with needles, how they could deliberately snort something up their nostril, and she couldn't even tolerate the smell of the "non drug." Tenna, she was something else, something that not even Devi could expect.   
  
"I do anything to make them happy, and they think I'm some sort of annoying pixy." She moaned. She had only been happy for their support, she was suffering just like the rest of them. "Devi isn't the only one with problems." Tenna glanced over at the Spooky doll; it's where she drew her happiness. The toy wasn't like a voice; it was much more like a vessel, like a good luck charm. Like a fond memory of your childhood.  
  
Which mask would you wear today?   
  
How about the one with the pretty smile  
  
To you it's just another day   
  
In a life you haven't lived for quite awhile  
  
She had heard a hyper version of the song by Lifehouse, some band called "Bats need Friends Too." Did it in the dance version, and when she was at the club a few nights back, it hit her hard. She had become something of a nuisance in the people's lives she tried to comfort. All she was a psychotically happy person.   
  
"You don't know what's wrong with me, Tenna. You never will either." Devi had retorted back to her a while back, but she didn't stop there. "You will never know what its like to be alone, to feel   
  
You just want to kill yourself." Tenna left, and Devi had claimed it was because she couldn't handle the truth.  
  
Tenna wanted to die, but she couldn't realize, like drugs, how anyone can willfully do any of the shit to themselves. She had really been alone all her life, her parents were excessive drug addicts, and she constantly had to take care of her and her brother.   
  
Sully Adrien was his name, and he was like any other kid, he didn't deserve what their parents put him through, but it had happened anyway. Tenna couldn't stop the abuse, but she could help make him better, and support him when their parents spent all income on speed.   
  
They had always talked about leaving. Together, they'd get out of the state, when they had enough money saved. Then, just one night, he disappeared without a trace. The cops never investigated, (*and everyone knows how well the cops work in Devi/Johnny's world*) the blamed it on one of the mysterious murders, but there was no proof that he was murdered.   
  
Sully had given Tenna Spooky a long time ago. Tenna had never told Devi about Sully, she hadn't mentioned her family at all because she was trying to bring Devi to that higher place where she denied.   
  
Tenna climbed onto the counter. She finally did leave, but she had left the house, and met Devi around the time of the torso man.... in the little red wagon. She just happened to be a passerby. For some insane reason, she kept Tenna around. They had the same interests; 'she just regards me as psychotically happy...'   
  
Did you see the sky tonight; it was covering a world so bright  
  
Hiding from a place inside you could never really see the light  
  
But I'm having trouble sleeping cause I know no ones awake  
  
I wish that I was dreaming cause then I could see your face  
  
And I wish I knew a place to hide  
  
I wish I knew a place to hide  
  
Where I could   
  
Pretend you're the only one  
  
Pretend you're the only one  
  
Pretend that you're the only one  
  
That's never far away  
  
But you're having trouble breathing  
  
Cause the world takes your breath away  
  
And you're hiding from the demons  
  
That attack you everyday  
  
And I wish that I could be there  
  
To help take away the pain  
  
But looking in my mirror, I could never see your face  
  
But if I could see your face tonight  
  
I would give away my worthless life   
  
Crawling on my hands and knees I beg you  
  
I beg you  
  
I beg you  
  
I beg you  
  
Tenna slept, but not often, when she wasn't sleeping she was roaming the clubs, the usual Tenna thing. She bowed her head, a fugitive tear sliding down her cheek. She wanted it all to go away, but didn't have enough bravado to do it herself. She didn't have the courage to waste her life away, and she could do it right now easily.   
  
There was nothing inside her that could muster the strength to pick up that steak knife and cut her wrists.  
  
She remembered a time when she was cutting an apple for a snack, and she sliced her pinky up quite a bit, she couldn't stand the sight of blood pouring from her finger, and she panicked, not wanting her parents to see the blood on the sink.   
  
It had bled forever, and that was more of a pain then having your hair ripped out.   
  
'God if anyone only knew...' She wandered to the back of the apartment, with Spooky in hand. The pathetic excuse for a balcony was thin, but the cool air touched her from head to toe. The night was so beautiful, with the stars glimmering above her.  
  
She knew few people appreciated the beauty of the night skies so. Devi had told her about the date she had with that Johnny, on that little cliff, looking over the city and stars Tenna almost wished that was her memory, being with a nice guy (*for the most part*) looking down at everyone like they deserved, the wind tickling their exposed skin and the stars above.  
  
Tenna squeaked Spooky out of habit; the feeble grip on him didn't create a loud squeak but a soft one.   
  
'I need to let go of such memories, I need to quit wishing it was me.'   
  
The moon was only half; the stars were vast and beautiful. The wind had slowed from a calm to almost dead. Tenna could hear the crickets, people, and cars. The world was so awake at nearly midnight. Tenna smiled a weak smile, and squeaked Spooky. As if they were saying a mutual goodbye.   
  
Spooky soared over the waist high railing, soaring for a few seconds before gravity took affect, and the doll crashed down fading into the darkness between the other buildings. Tenna smiled more full. 'Goodbye Sully.'   
  
She turned to go in, hearing her phone ring. The caller ID read DEVI D, she answered in a usual perky voice.  
  
"Tenna?" Devi's unsure voice called her name..."They are showing A Clockwork Orange on the midnight cinema tonight, you wanna go?"   
  
Tenna's nose scrunched up confused. "What about fearing Johnny. Don't you have a lot of work to do?"   
  
"Not tonight, Tenna. I'm over it."   
  
"I'll meet you there." She picks up her keys from the counter, and is on her way singing.   
  
"We try so hard cause we don't know what we're looking for. You try so hard because you don't know what you're looking for. Yeah I try so hard because I don't know what I'm looking for, but yeah I'm happy. I'm happy I'm happy yeah"  
  
End  
  
Song Run Down  
  
[1]Just another Name - Lifehouse - Stanley Climbfall  
  
[2]Pretend - Social Burn- Where you are  
  
[3]I'm Happy - Social Burn - Where you are 


End file.
